Wyatt has become such a part of my life now I don't remember before him. I know that there was a time when I worried about such trivial things as making everybody like me and got my feelings hurt when this didn't always work out. I've had people that I thought were soul mates leave me, friends drift away. I used to say my goal in life was to leave earth and have no one say, good ridance, I couldn't stand that girl. And it used to really bother me that life doesn't always work out that way. But now that Wyatt is here it's like the only thing that matters anymore is that he grows up healthy and happy and anything that pertains to me doesn't mean a thing. I know every parent feels this way but it is a very new idea in my head. It's sometimes a little hard to wrap my brain around! Today was a wonderful day even though I never got out of my pajamas and I didn't brush my hair once. Wyatt doesn't care what I look like, as long as I hold him and cuddle. (well he'd probably prefer it if I cuddled a little less but tough!) Wyatt makes no judgements on me for the choices in my life other than to tell me he wants a bottle and I should have read his mind 2 minutes ago to know that. He doesn't care if I'm not beautiful or funny. I don't have to say anything to him for him to know I love him.
Today while he was supposed to be napping he did something that made me melt. I had fallen asleep beside him in my bed and when I startled awake he was just sitting there on his belly and hands looking at me with a big smile on his face. It was like he was watching me nap and not complaining because he knew I needed it. He might not be able to tell me he loves me yet but I don't need to hear it. I know.
1 comment:
I know the feeling. Having never wanted children, it is so odd to me that I could love a child so much. And we've had some of those moments too when I really need a nap and for once in his life, Ryan is quiet. He keeps looking up from whatever he is playing with just to watch me sleep. I know because I peek :)
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